Curating celebration in the lives of Arizona’s foster children
By Samantha Miller
The Arizona Foster Alliance lobby has a special requirement for each of its bike deliveries: uncontrollable excitement.
Loud squealing in these moments is both expected and appreciated. This is a key component of Program Development Manager Gloria Ayala’s favorite bike delivery memory. Ayala remembers hearing a startling commotion while chatting in the front lobby with her supervisor, quickly turning around to a brand-new bike being wheeled out beside her.
“What the…! A bike?!,” said a young boy, almost screaming as the bike rolled towards him.
Immediately taking the new wheels for an inaugural spin is also expected.
“We had one girl who was so excited for her bike, she started riding in the lobby,” said Yasaman Tabrizi, the Foster Alliance Program Manager.
These recipients, children in Arizona’s Foster Care System, received the bikes as part of their Birthday Bags. These birthday packages, created by the Arizona Foster Alliance, give kids in foster care an opportunity to celebrate their special day with personalized gifts for throwing what may be their first-ever birthday party.
For Arizona’s many foster kids, personal celebration and healthy identity are a painfully absent part of life. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, “in foster care, ongoing uncertainty, multiple losses, and transitions can further erode a child’s or teen’s sense of self,” compounding the traumatic experiences the child has likely already faced. The Arizona Foster Alliance, as well as Grand Canyon University’s (GCU) Fostering Futures Program, are working to combat this erosion with celebration-centered outreach.
Foster Care in Arizona
Arizona Department of Child Safety reports that as of June 30, 2023, 10,900 children reside in out-of-home care in Arizona, and 3,215 of these children have been in out-of-home care for more than two years. The American Academy of Pediatrics states “children and teens thrive when their families have routines, structure, and reasonable expectations.”
Unfortunately, living in out-of-home care often prevents the presence of these healthy personal development factors for foster children, replacing them instead with challenging transitions such as separation from siblings or changes in foster home placement.
“I think a lot of times, their self-esteem can get shot through these processes. Like, I’ve been moved to home from home. Why didn’t somebody want me? Why didn’t my parents want me?” said Tabrizi.
Enduring these experiences can impact foster children for a lifetime. As children grow older, according to a study from the National Library of Medicine, “adolescents with foster care histories have described related limitations on their opportunities for typical identity development, such as disconnection from peers, family impermanence, stigma around being in foster care, and premature independence or self-reliance.”
The Arizona Foster Alliance
According to Ayala, the Arizona Foster Alliance shifted its outreach to solely serving the population facing these obstacles in 2013. Following this shift, local foster families and case managers brought to their attention that many foster children were not receiving any form of celebration on their birthdays each year.
The Birthday Bag program was born in response to this need, as the Arizona Foster Alliance believes that “all foster children should receive the joy, self-esteem growth, and beautiful memories that a birthday celebration provides.” The program has since grown extensively, and, in 2022, the Foster Alliance was able to gift 1,754 Birthday Bags to children in Arizona Foster Care.
Each Birthday Bag is created specifically for its unique recipient. The Foster Alliance works in partnership with caseworkers and foster parents to learn the child’s favorite themes and birthday gift requests, and then volunteers pack the birthday bag to match this information. Even the gift bag itself is hand-decorated by a volunteer, making sure that the recipient feels seen and appreciated in every aspect of their party.
“It’s important to instill in them that the birthday celebration isn’t just a birthday celebration, it’s to celebrate you. We’re so happy that you are the person that you are,” said Tabrizi.
When asked about the role of these gifts in a foster child’s sense of identity, Ayala shared that she believes these intentional celebrations help counter the negative personal narratives that foster care in a child’s perception of their identity, referring back to a memory of a panel she attended featuring former foster children.
“I remember what one of them said stuck with me. She said, ‘without the people who cared about me, I didn’t care about me.’ Without people who pour into you and make sure you are being set up for success, you maybe don’t feel valued or like you are worth it,” said Ayala.
The gifts inside the Birthday Bags, such as a fashion sketchbook or a microscope, can also function as a source of encouragement for recipients, pushing them to explore what they might be interested in and motivated by long term.
“You think of it as just a birthday gift, but it is also motivating them to look deeper into their passions for science, math, or fashion, or drawing,” said Tabrizi.
GCU Fostering Futures Program
Grand Canyon University’s Fostering Futures Program makes pursuing these passions long-term possible for foster children in Arizona as they reach adulthood. While enrolled in Fostering Futures, students with a foster care background can attend Grand Canyon University while receiving a scholarship for year-round room and board and tuition. They also have access to a community of fellow students and staff to support them as they go through their college journey.
A vital element of this program’s structure is celebration. Brandi Turner, the GCU Fostering Futures Administrator, is passionate about curating special celebrations. In the past, these events have included Christmas gift-giving, sharing Costco pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving, and, a fan favorite: competitive game nights. All events are intended to build fun, safe camaraderie.
“I know we are not your biological family, but we are your GCU family,” said Turner.
This family built by celebration, along with the stability that Turner believes these students find at GCU, creates a safe space for students to explore self-identity in a way that they may not have been able to in a foster care setting. Here, according to Turner, students have the opportunity experience independence and question their interests while relying on a supportive, encouraging environment.
As students meet with the larger Fostering Futures family, they also receive a personal GCU mentor to walk with them one-on-one through their college journey and celebrate their wins alongside them. Turner has enjoyed celebration moments with students for everything from passing grades to thirty-month dating anniversaries to rugby game wins.
“It’s just sometimes remembering the little things…like my team just recognizing the small things and being like, ’Hey, I’m so proud of you,’” said Turner.
These celebrations, big and small, come back to the same heart for Arizona’s foster children.
“At the end of the day, they are just children, and they want to feel like any other child would,” said Tabrizi. “I think that what we’re able to do here is give them that feeling that they’re valued. Somebody out there cares for them.”